You Gotta Name It Before You Can Change It

Let me say it again:

You need to understand what you are fighting before you can defeat it.

You must know what you want to be different before you can make a difference.

You have to name the thing you want to change before you can actually change it.

It sounds simple. But often it's not.

We spend so much time talking about Vision and imagining an ideal future that we sometimes (often) get lost there. In our heads. Thinking magically about what might materialize someday. Wishing, wanting, waiting - and ultimately wasting all the effort we put into achieving our goals.

Trust me: Vision is important! Critical, even, to achievement. But there is a reason we tackle that topic much later in The Activated Genius Method. Vision matters for inspiration, direction, and emotional connection. And it also is completely crafted out of thin air. 

We cannot build the future on the wind.

[Quote: "...be present to the way things are, including our feelings about the way things are. This practice can help us clarify the next step that will take us in the direction we say we want to go." by Rosamund & Benjamin Zander, The Art of Possibility]

We must fix the foundation of our efforts on rock solid reality. On our acceptance and understanding of the status quo (that we can no longer stand).

I think we sometimes avoid this step because we worry about that word, acceptance. We fear that if we acknowledge fully the way things are, we will lull ourselves into believing that things do not need to change. If we spend too much time working to understand the present, we will not have any time left to create a different future.

And this is a valid concern. If we spend our lives complaining about what doesn't work - what must change - we may never turn our attention to the actual work of changing. 

But we cannot let that valid fear prevent us from investigating the here-and-now in the first place.

So I encourage you to take the time - just enough time - to figure out exactly where you want to focus your work. Your energy. Your Genius. Your Leadership. To make something important to you better than it has ever been before.

[Photo of construction site with sign that reads "still under construction even though you're so over it."]

Think of it as the site survey before construction starts. We are not mapping the world for mapping's sake. We are selecting the building site for the skyscraper of our future. 

And if we want that structure to stand tall. If we want it to be safe, sturdy, beautiful, and resilient to the wind, we need to understand and accept all the current features of that imperfect plot of land. We need to understand and fully describe the status quo (we can no longer stand).

What is that for you?

What is the thing that absolutely must change? What is the rant you rant when you get a little drunk, or a little riled up with your best friends? What is the major frustration you feel when you watch the news, or go to work, or walk back into your home for the weekend?

That's the other problem with focusing too quickly on our Vision. 

That word alone can sometimes pull us away from the real change we need. We associate that word with flying cars and landing on the Moon. We hear it most often in the context of multi-billion dollar corporations and global leadership decisions. And maybe that will the scope and scale of your Vision, too. Maybe the thing you want to change is exactly that big.

Or maybe the thing that would make the most difference - the thing that you were put on this Earth to do - will meaningfully touch only your family, or your work unit, or your classroom.

Maybe it is something that no one will truly know about but you.

That doesn't make it less important. That doesn't make the change less-needed. And frankly, sometimes, the smaller the scale the hard it will be to execute - because everything that must be done will need to be done by you.

Don't worry about that yet.

I promise, we will get there.

Now is the time to take just enough time to name the thing you want to be different, so that you can focus your future energy on what will truly make a difference.

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References:

The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander

Better Than Before: What I learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin

Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath

All the Easy Problems Are Gone

Quick wins...

Low-hanging fruit...

Hacks...

Five simple steps...

One easy trick...

There is no shortage of solutions for quick, simple, easy, obvious problems. They are in every magazine. Every book. Every infomercial you've ever seen. They are passed along in conversation with friends. And implemented without much effort.

[Photo: Life-size "connect four" game.]

That means: If it was going to be easy to do, it would be done already.

You are smart. You're capable. You care. So, if all you had to do was connect a few dots - with a little bit of practice and the slightest bit of strategy - you'd have a winning solution in hand. 

If you don't...

If it feels hard - if you are struggling to make an important change - then it must be more complicated than that.

This is not a reflection of your lack of smarts or creativity. This is not a failing of yours at all. It feels hard because it is hard.

All of the easy problems are gone.

They are solved. And when new easy problems pop up, they are just as easily solved, again. With a gadget or a book recommendation or a new bit of advice from a friend.

[Quote: "Solving problems is hard. If a given problem still exists, you can bet a lot of people have already come along and failed to solve it. Easy problems evaporate; it is the hard ones that linger." - Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner, Think Like a Freak]

That is not what we're doing here. 

There is no difference to be made in making the world slightly less annoying. Or by moderately improving something that wasn't that big of a deal in the first place. 

No.

Your Genius is way too big for that!

Our collective Genius would be criminally wasted if all we cared about were the quick wins, the simple solutions, the five easy steps. 

Thank goodness they're gone! Out of our way.

So that we can focus our time, our energy, our brilliance on making the difference we were born to make.

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Big News! Better Plan Ahead!!

My goal for this year is to become a resource for world-changers.

Until today that meant giving my all in all the different ways. I put in the work here, in my weekly Rise & Shine! motivational email, with my coaching clients, and in my Activated Genius Facebook Group. 

During my mid-year check-in on my progress and prospects for the rest of the year - because I take my own medicine! - I realized something important: it's not working. 

YES! I am becoming a resource. The research is rocking and the writing is flowing.

YES! I am spending more time with world-changers. Because they are amazing humans.

AND, ALSO, The Activated Genius Method is not gaining the traction it needs. Tailored Output is not becoming the go-to place for leaders working to solve hard problems.

My diagnosis?

Lack of focus.

All that working is working (in too many directions). It all is important and effective and interrelated. AND NOT AT ALL SUFFICIENT to create the outcomes we all need if we are going to defy impossibility.

Unless we focus. 

So, I am taking the summer to get my shit together. I am applying the same level of rigor and planning and detail-orientation to my writing as I give to my research and program development. I am building the resources I wish I had when I first started figuring out how to Activate the Genius around me. And I have a tight deadline.

Starting in September, I am rolling out an all new suite of self-study, mastermind, and coaching programs.

Here's how it will work:

• Twice each month, I will publish a blog about the art and science of maximizing your personal and organizational performance - the theory and practice of the Activated Genius Method.

• Each week, I will share practical information about how you can use the Activated Genius Method in your own life and work in your Rise & Shine! Monday morning email.

• We'll continue the conversation in The Activated Genius Facebook Group.

• For those looking to tailor the Activated Genius Method to your unique situation, we'll work together in The Activate Your Leadership Mastermind (details coming soon).

Your commitment (and cost) will depend on your level of participation. My blogs are always tight and to the point. Your Rise & Shine! is designed to keep you thinking and applying throughout the week. The Activate Your Leadership Mastermind will have focused assignments and scheduled sessions (and will require a financial investment in addition to your time and energy).

And, of course, individual coaching program will remain available year round.

To prepare for September: sign up for my Rise & Shine! email to stay on top of the research as I build the new strategy. You'll also be the first to know about The Activate Your Leadership Mastermind (space will be limited). 

And of course, my digital door is always open. Find me @tailoredoutput everywhere.

Have a wonderful summer!

*juie

What Inspires You?

What inspires you? What lights you up? What are you curious to learn? What always seems to capture your attention?

What do you think about most-often in the shower or on long runs? What are you a big nerd about? What topic do you keep coming back to, from every possible angle?

That thing? That is your Inclination. Your deeply-rooted interest. And it is the fourth pillar of your unique Genius.*

The Inclination concept comes from Robert Greene's Mastery. He writes that uncovering your inclination as the first step toward becoming a Master, because your curiosity will be the fuel that keeps you invested in any domain long enough to master it. Your interest will keep you making connections that others may never see.

And when you consider your professional development responsibilities, isn't that exactly what leaders are hoping to help create? Masters. Fully-capable, creative, self-sufficient, innovative team members who contribute positively to the corporate mission without too much input from above.

That's the dream.

And just like every other productive and engaging employee attribute, mastery requires Activation.

If you want your team to learn and grow and develop into masters of your universe, you must help align their growth-edge to their deepest curiosity. Otherwise you will just continue to waste resources, and your energy.

How many times have you paid for expensive training - only to have it all forgotten months later, the course binders collecting dust on communal bookshelves? How many books have you distributed? How many outside speakers have you summoned? How much difference did it make? Over the long term?

Not much, right? Totally predictable.

You've hired high-achievers. They know how to play the game. They will sit and listen and pass the exam (if there even is one). They'll take notes and participate in discussion. And if it doesn't markedly improve their outcomes - right then! - or spark a deep-seeded interest, they'll happily return to their cubes and their old ways.

How many times have you done that same thing, yourself? When your leadership sent you off to an expensive professional development course or conference? Why would your team be any different?

The better question is: How can your team be different?

How can you unlock the diversity of thought necessary to create the innovative team of your dreams? How can you help each team member grow into a domain master - in their own right? How can you help develop your team into the self-sufficient, creative, contributing force your organization needs?

My Inclination is understanding how things work, and using that knowledge to make things work better. Follow your Inclination. Light a fire under your Curiosity. And unlock your inspiration, innovation, and awe.

By understanding each team member's Inclination and helping them align what drives their curiosity to your corporate vision.

Simple. But maybe not easy.

Because - like a seed - Inclination can become deeply-buried. Covered up by more-practical things. As attention turns to getting good grades, or getting a good job, or climbing the corporate ladder. The things that sparked wonder and enthusiasm in your childhood might be a distant memory, now.

Those are the things you must find within each member of your team.

The childhood curiosities. The things they were scolded to put aside to make time for homework. The books they loved to read - when they still had time to choose. The games they loved to play - when their imagination made the rules. Those are they keys to unlocking Inclination.

Critical keys that may not be easy to find.

Inclination is not always attached to a concrete topic. It can be squishy, and hard to define. Or your team members may not have run into that thing that gets their juices flowing, yet. So you have to pay attention.

Who is really loving the new training, or the new topic, or the new project at work? Who is noticeably energized when everyone else is going through the motions? What books or ideas are they digging up on their own time, because they are enthusiastic about the topic? Those observations are a hint. Share them when you see them.

Then work with your team to design growth opportunities around their curiosity. Encourage them to run down personally fulfilling tangents. Help them explicitly tie their curiosity to the things your organization needs to do to grow.

And don't worry if everyone on your team is sharpening a different growth-edge.

Encourage it.

That's how you grow-in diversity of thought and experience. That's how you continue to generate creative and innovative solutions within a long-standing team. That's how you maintain the deep trust necessary to take risks - and still overcome the group-think that can creep into overly cohesive cultures.

Encourage your team members to uncover and follow their Inclination, and grow a team full of innovators to masters your universe.

*The Activated Genius Model is based on my experience and extensive research into leadership and organizational performance. The model is defined by four pillars of Genius: Values, Motivation, Strengths and Inclination, activated by a strong foundation: Communicated Vision, Dedicated Leadership, Effective Structure and Process, and Adequate Resources.

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References:

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Choose Yourself: Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream by James Altucher

The Desire Map (affiliate link): A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul by Danielle LaPorte

Mastery by Robert Greene

What Are Your Strengths?

Strengths are…

"…specific areas where we can do things, see things, understand things, and learn things better and faster than 10,000 other people…" - StandOut 2.0: Assess Your Strengths, Find Your Edge, Win at Work by Marcus Buckingham

Strengths are…

Areas where we have the greatest potential for success. - StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

Strengths are…

Traits we might see "as disabilities and try to work around them to fit in." - Mastery by Robert Greene

Strengths are…

"Your most valuable currency [because they are] what comes most naturally to you." - The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte

Strengths are talents, traits, capabilities, or competencies that are far beyond average. They are the things you do better than everyone else, the things that come most naturally to you. And - this is important - they are things that you also enjoy doing. Put simply, your Strengths must also strengthen you. If you are good at something, but you hate it, it is not your Strength.

Understanding and aligning your strengths to the achievement of your goal is how you create competitive advantage. It is how you stand out from the crowd. It is how you shine.

Accessing and engaging your team members' strengths - in service of your group objective - is how you stay ahead in your fast-paced, high-demand, innovation-intense industry. And layered effectively with the other pillars of The Activated Genius Model,* it might just be how you trap lightning in a bottle and answer senior management's demand to do more with less.

But Strengths are tricky. And you might need to help your team access and own their abilities. Because while they may have pronounced traits, that generate significantly greater value for the organization than the average employee, that might actually be hard for your team memebers' to see.

Our - US - educational system measures cogitative performance and knowledge retention. And that's great. But it does not do much to help students understand where their deep talents lie. Many of the Strengths that you rely on your team to provide may never have been tested in school. And because their Strengths come so naturally to each individual, they might not even notice themselves doing anything.

But you notice. Because how could you not?

Human performance in complex environments can be modeled using an exponential curve. That means a large proportion of the output is created by a small percentage of the workforce, and the rest is pretty-well evenly completed by everyone else. In some industries as much as 25% of the output is generated by just 5% of the employees.

Flipped around the other way, that means that your team members have areas where their strengths completely outshine everyone else around them. It is undeniable.

The difficulty may come if they haven't had an opportunity to use their Strengths, because of how the team is structured, how the work is divided, or how aligned their Strengths are to corporate objectives. Two-thirds of Gallup respondents said that they do not have opportunity to use their Strengths every day.

What a waste.

If you want to compete, if you want to retain your best workers, if you want to accomplish more than you ever thought possible, you must become part of the other 33%. You must access and engage your - and your team members' - Strengths. And there are multiple tools or techniques to help you uncover them, for yourself, and with your team.

My Strengths are: problem-solving, communicating complex ideas, creating structure in chaos, inspiration, strategy, and experiment design. Not all things you test for in school...

But before you schedule your team's Strengths Discovery Meeting, a word of caution:

This is powerful stuff. Accessing your team members' Strengths, and aligning them to your group mission, will have a profoundly positive effect on team performance. You will accomplish more with less effort. You will be able to make efficient use of training dollars - because even a modest improvement in an area of your strength will create an exponential improvement in output. And you will have better motivated, more engaged employees.

And.

It will be a lot of work. You will have to change the way you manage and how you structure your day.

You will need to create differentiated work-roles that leverage each individual's Strengths, layered effectively to accomplish your objectives.

You will have to devote more time and energy to removing obstacles to individual performance, rather than just focusing on what constrains the team as a whole.

You will have to tailor your compensation strategy. And you will have to exponentially increase your communication, so that each team member understands the why behind decisions that affect only one or two people on the team. So that they see the equity in your leadership decisions - that every member is getting what they need to perform at their best - despite the lack of uniformity in how those decisions are applied.

And you will have to let some people go.

When a person's Strengths do not align with the core objectives of your group, the disparity in motivation, compensation, meaning from work, and engagement will be noticeable to everyone. And it will drag the team down. Your leadership role, then, will be to enlist and engage other aspects of their Genius to ensure they do play a role on the team that is meaningful to them, or - and this is more likely - help them find meaningful work elsewhere.

And that won't be easy, either.

None of the work required to lead your team in a way that fully-engages their Genius will be easy. It's up to you to decide if it will be worth it.

*The Activated Genius Model is based on my experience and extensive research into leadership and organizational performance. The model is defined by four pillars of Genius: Values, Motivation, Strengths and Inclination, activated by a strong foundation: Communicated Vision, Dedicated Leadership, Effective Structure and Process, and Adequate Resources.

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References:

The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms by Danielle LaPorte

Mastery by Robert Greene

StandOut 2.0: Assess Your Strengths, Find Your Edge, Win at Work by Marcus Buckingham

Star Performers in Twenty-First-Century Organizations (Article) by Herman Aguinis and Ernest O'Boyle

StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

Work Rules!: Insights from Inside Google That Will Transform How You Live and Lead by Laszlo Bock

What Motivates You?

How many articles have you read about how to motivate yourself or your team?

How much money does your organization spend on perks and incentives to try to pull out the passionate engagement you need to compete?

How many hours do you spend worrying about how you can get people to really care? To find meaning in their work? To bring inspiration and energy to their tasks?

What if you stopped guessing about what might engage your staff - only to be disappointed, yet again - and instead unlocked the secret to motivation? 

You can.

Once you start to think of Motivation as a key aspect of your - and your team members' - individual Genius.* Something that is intricately linked to who you are.

Once you understand that Motivation is a near-limitless energy source that sits at the core of every individual, attached to your deepest desires.

Once you realize that Motivation is not a decision. It is a feeling. Or, more accurately, the desire for a feeling.

The Core Desired Feeling concept comes from Danielle LaPorte who says that our goals, our objectives, our every conscious desire come not from our wanting the tangible goods of the achievement. But actually derive from a deeper part of our brain, below our logical, conscious, verbal mind. Our goals come from our wanting to feel how we expect to feel once the thing is achieved.

And neurobiology backs her up.

Our primordial feelings - the perceptions of our bodily sensations and thoughts - are signals that let us know if we are in danger or if we are in an optimal state that will preserve our wellbeing. We are driven by our desire to feel safe and warm, for example. As our brains developed, they became more complex and adaptive. Our definitions of wellbeing expanded to include far more that well-fed and free-from-disease, but the signaling system remained the same. 

We are literally motivated by our desire to feel the way we want to feel, to keep moving in the direction of our definition wellbeing.

My Core Desired Feelings are Vitality, Connection, Brilliance, and Wonder. I took this photo at Diamond Head in Hawaii after an early-morning hike to the top with two brilliant friends. It's rare to go 4 for 4! And I reaped the Motivation rewards for the rest of the day.

So instead of trying to ply ourselves and our team members with perks and prizes - that may do nothing to improve focus and engagement - we must treat Motivation like a key aspect of our Genius. We must organize our calendars and our teams to reinforce the feelings we want to feel. And balance the sometimes brutal - but necessary - work with tasks or activities that re-energize and inspire.

To do that, we must first take the time to uncover our Core Desired Feelings. 

Then, once you've uncovered your Motivation, you can begin the process of enlisting it to work for you. Prioritizing, delegating, layering teamwork, balancing the stressful, de-energizing tasks with moments that build you back up and get you back in the fight. To keep yourself - and your team - moving in the right direction, with or without the perks.

*The Activated Genius Model is based on my experience and extensive research into leadership and organizational performance. The model is defined by four pillars of Genius: Values, Motivation, Strengths and Inclination, activated by a strong foundation: Communicated Vision, Dedicated Leadership, Effective Structure and Process, and Adequate Resources.

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References:

The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul (affiliate link) by Danielle LaPorte

Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain by Antonio Damasio

What Do You Value?

 

Values are…

"The principles without which life wouldn't be worth living." - Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization by Dave Logan, John King, and Halee Fischer-Wright

Values are…

"…the core of who you are. They influence every aspect of your life." - The Truth about Leadership by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

Values are…

A key to creating new habits. - Better Than Before: What I learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin

Values are…

The foundation of your organizational culture, along with your actions. - Remote: Office Not Required by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Values are more than words on a motivational poster near the restroom.

Values are a deeply personal expression of who we are and what we hold most dear. They are a key contributor to our worldview. They are what we fight for most ardently- even if we don't realize it - even when it causes us pain. When we feel stuck or don't know what to do, often it is because two of our deeply-held Values conflict. When we feel demotivated or frustrated often it is because our work - or our leadership - is stifling or contradicting our Values.

When we live and work in alignment with our Values, we feel good about what we are doing because our actions and activities are deeply meaningful. And - more importantly to supervisors the world over - when our team members' Values are in alignment with corporate values, when they derive personal meaning from their work toward a corporate goal or outcome, they work better together and accomplish more with less supervision and specific direction.

Because of this, Values are one of the four pillars of unique Genius in the Activated Genius Model* of personal and organizational performance.

Uncovering your Values is the first step in accessing your vast human potential. And helping your teams uncover their individual and shared Values is the first step in accessing the vast natural resource already at your organization's disposal. It is the first step toward doing more, becoming more, achieving more than you ever thought possible with the people you already have vetted, hired, and trained.

The hard question is: Do you want to?

Do you want to understand your (and your team's) Values?

The benefits are clear. But understanding your team at that level also comes with a risk, a responsibility. What if you find out their Values are out of alignment with your organizational goals? What if you realize you have the right people in the wrong positions? What are you going to do if the information you gain makes it clear that you need to lead a major change?

Activating the Genius within your organization is an incredibly powerful tool. And it also can be incredibly disruptive in the short-term.

I value experiences over things. Silliness over seriousness. And gigantic birthstones that I am certain I could wear as a ring if I just up my gainz hard enough.

I submit to you that it will be worth it. That the long-term benefit will outweigh the very real near-term pain. But I can't guarantee it. And I'm biased. I believe in this model. I believe that Values are a pillar of our Genius. And I believe that Activating our Genius is how we will answer the demands that our industries, our environment, our governments, and our world are placing upon us.

Yes, I have evidence and experience to back that up, but my belief also might be deeply colored by my Values: Courage. Optimism. Contribution. Silliness. Creativity. Growth.

What do you believe? What is your unique Genius? What do you Value?

And what are you going to do about it?

*The Activated Genius Model is based on my experience and extensive research into leadership and organizational performance. The model is defined by four pillars of Genius: Values, Motivation, Strengths and Inclination, activated by a strong foundation: Communicated Vision, Dedicated Leadership, Effective Structure and Process, and Adequate Resources.

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References:

Better Than Before: What I learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin

Remote: Office Not Required by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization by Dave Logan, John King, and Halee Fischer-Wright

The Truth about Leadership by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

The Problem With Solutions

I'm a problem-solver.

And that can actually be a problem…

"Don't bring me problems bring me solutions…" "Don't complain unless you are going to do something about it…" "If you see a problem, it's your problem to solve…" and on and on and on

We hear these things all the time. Hell, I say some of these things all the time. And yet. Taken to their extreme, they can be more harm than good. Driving so hard toward solution, needing to find a solution, can cause us to overlook the most important part of problems-solving: Defining the actual problem.

Not the symptoms. Not the most easily-apparent need. Not our assumptions about what's wrong. Not the thing that can be tackled quickly, today. The actual problem.

Problems are like weeds. Don't start pulling until you're sure you can get the root!

I'm not saying we should dwell. Or wallow. But jumping to solutions can send us down the wrong path. Wasting time and energy on things that won't work.

So how do we prevent that? How do we make sure we are pulling the weed by the root and not just grabbing at the leaves?

There's actually not one silver-bullet technique. But you expected that, right? Especially from me. I've written about uncovering your problem in the past and provided a framework that works for me. Here's another one that I like to use when the emotional charge is not so high.

I rely on the Five-Ws. And I ask myself Why five times.

• What is the problem you are trying to solve?

• Who does this problem affect? Or with whom does this problem arise?

• When is the problem most pronounced? Over what timeframe do we need a solution?

• Where does this problem show up?

• Why does this problem exist in the first place? (x5)

Following this sequence helps ensure I don't jump to a (wrong) solution. It gives me the full context of my problem and helps me dig down to its root.

An example:

• What is the problem you are trying to solve? I want to work out during the workday, but have trouble getting myself out of my office now that my gym buddy works far away.

• Who does the problem affect? Just me.

• When is this problem most pronounced? When I plan to go to the gym solo. I have no problem making it to yoga, even when it is eight degrees outside!

• Where does this problem show up? When I am working. Especially if I am in the middle of something or have a project to start.

• Why does this problem exist in the first place? Because I don't want to go (even though deep down I do want to exercise - I love it!).

• Why don't I want to go? Because there are other people there.

• Why don't I want to work out with other people? I do! That's the weird part. I go to yoga just fine.

• Why is yoga different? Because all I have to do is show up ready to work. They take care of everything else.

• Why does it help that they take care of everything else? During the work-day I already am mentally taxed. I don't have the energy to come up with a workout plan.

So Why do I have a problem going to the gym by myself? Because I don't already have a plan and I don't have the accountability to force me out the door anyway.

Now I'm ready to think about how I can solve my problem:  By writing my workout plan the weekend before so that it is handy when the calendar alert dings in the middle of my workday. I don't have to think. Which means I don't have to stop thinking about the work-related problems I'm stewing about. I can just head down and execute.

That's better than asking a friend to call and yell at me (I considered it) and definitely worth a try!

A few hints to be sure you have a solution worth trying:

Does your solution address each of the five Ws? If not, it may not fully address your problem and you might need to layer in a second solution.  And a third. And a fourth. And… depending on how big your problem might be.

Does your solution use the word should or must? RED FLAG. Should and must indicate that you intend to rely on willpower. That can work in the short-term but for persistent problems (liked getting to the gym) should and must are the equivalent of saying I will solve my problem by solving my problem. True. And useless.

And last, remember: Your answer to How can I solve my problem? Is not the solution. It is one possible solution. And it might not work when you test it. Implementing your solution could uncover a new variable, a part of the problem that you hadn't considered yet. That's great! It means you're digging closer to your roots. Use that information when you run back through the sequence and see how your solution changes.

Then try it again.

We encounter problems big and small every day. And problem-solvers like us take most pride in successfully implementing the solutions. That's fine. As long as we don't let that solution-focus become a problem in itself. No matter how obvious the solution might seem, those nine little questions help get to the fun part (the solving part), faster. By making sure we don't waste our time pulling on the wrong things.

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References:

The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries

Think Like a Freak: The Authors of Freakonomics Offer to Retrain Your Brain by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

What do you bring to the table?

We had a low key Thanksgiving this year. 

Cory and I spent the day finishing up the beta test for Activate Your Genius! a seven steps program to help you find focus and make a real difference in 2017. We were so excited with the outcome that we had to start now! There was no patience to wait for 2017 to begin... We took brief intermissions from the whiteboard to eat and drink, because it was Thanksgiving, after all. But the focus definitely wasn’t on the food.

That is a rare departure for me. Because I love food. I love making food. I show my love with food. And I really enjoy eating food. I can be counted on to bring a dish to pass, bake (paleo) cookies for the office gathering, or throw a dinner party on the roof. Anything that might let me show off what I’ve got cookin’.

Because when I bring food to the table, I bring so much more. That dish is an expression of my admiration. My consideration. My respect. My love. My desire for everyone in my vicinity to feel noticed and cared-for. It is my art. My creativity. And proof that I anticipated this time together long before we occupied the same space. 

Even without food in my hands, I bring that same enthusiastic regard with me wherever I go. It’s what I bring to the table. It’s (part of) my contribution to the quality of life and work around me. 

I didn’t always understand it that way.

We often fail to notice the things that we do reflexively, automatically, without thinking. The things that we do because that’s what people do. Without realizing that most other people don’t actually do them. The things that we somehow just know how to do. 

Our talents. Our gifts. Our magic. These are the areas, activities, traits that most benefit the people and organizations around us. They are our unique value proposition. The things we can do better than anyone else can do. And they also are the least likely to be recognized in ourselves. And they are the most difficult to measure (the latter contributes to the former).

At school and work we gain a sense of our skills. We understand if we’re good at math or writing or drawing. We learn quickly whether we can anticipate the boss’s requests or quickly respond. We become the go-to person for this task or another. And when we list out all of those things, not one of them (probably) gives us a sense of pride and wonder.

Skills are necessary. And sometimes impressive. And with the right mindset, training, and practice, skills can be developed, by anyone.

Your talent—your magic—however, is something different. It’s planted deep within you. And with care and nurturing, it can blossom into something truly remarkable. It probably already has, only you might not be able to see it, yet.

Because your talents aren’t easily listed or measured or rewarded at school or at work, they can sometimes be hard to describe. You can feel it: When you are working from a place of enthusiasm and energy and—at the same time—ease. When all eyes are on you. Or all eyes are looking to you for something that they need. And even though you may not be able to name them, you can be sure the people around you count on you to deliver.

Because they're what you bring to the table. 

It is your unique contribution that makes the meal whole. It is the thing no-one has to ask you to bring—like Aunt Marilyn’s pumpkin bread—and no-one else would dare try to replicate. Because you do it so remarkably, and they have their own contribution to make.

So what is it? 

It has taken me years to peel back the layers and find my unique seed. And even still I am surprised when I find out how others see me and what they count on me to bring. 

What are those things for you? When do you feel most alive? When do you know you are making the most difference? What can you always be counted on to do? What seems so incredibly obvious and easy to you (but others seem to never think of it)? What actions or traits or ideas pull at you deep in your core?

That’s your contribution. That’s what you bring to the table.

If you’re having trouble thinking of anything, reach out. Ask your friends and colleagues. Call your sister (I did). Find out what they count on you to bring. Ask them what situations bring you to mind. See when they can tell by your energy and your enthusiasm that you are most alive.

You might be surprised. But I promise you won't be disappointed. You have a unique contribution to make. Name it! We're counting on you to bring it.

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References:

The Desire Map (affiliate link): A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul by Danielle LaPorte

Mastery by Robert Greene

StandOut 2.0: Assess Your Strengths, Find Your Edge, Win at Work by Marcus Buckingham

StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath

Growing Pains

Are you growing? Are you learning? Are you becoming everything you can be?

Are you sure?

There is a simple test, actually. And let it be your mantra: They’re called growing pains for a reason.

Personal growth, organizational growth, economic growth, are critical. Growth is the foundation of advancement. Stagnation is a synonym of slow death. We know that. We know that if our economy isn’t growing it is shrinking. We know that if our organizations aren’t growing, doom is on the horizon. And we know that if we are not personally developing new skills and expanding our minds, we are headed for an early(er) grave. 

And so we all pay lip service to promoting growth. But when it comes to our own personal contribution—our own personal advancement—we often try to get by with as little as possible. 

Because growth hurts.

We know that instinctively from years of experience. We subconsciously remember the pain of our muscles stretching over lengthening bones. And so we don’t push ourselves physically as adults, because it will hurt.

We know after years of formal education the frustration and confusion that comes when our brain rewires to learn new things. And we balk and resist even brief corporate training. We claim to be too busy but we’re really too mentally exhausted to face the pain we know is coming.

Because growth hurts.

But because that knowledge resides deep within us we don’t often realize what we’re pushing against. Or sometimes what we are pushing for.

Just like getting taller or more-informed requires our bodies to reshape, often painfully. Organizational and economic growth also require our systems to reshape, with equal pain. Automation leads to corporate process improvements and increased profitability. And it also dramatically changes labor requirements. Expansion in one economic sector drives GDP growth that benefits the nation as a whole, while squeezing or replacing other sectors, and other people.

They’re called growing pains for a reason. 

Let that be your mantra. Let the fact that growth hurts guide your interactions at work and in your community. Understand that organizational and economic growth come hand-in-hand with pain. Look for signs of it. And find opportunities to help each other, so that no one is destroyed in service of our necessary gain.

And let the fact that growth hurts help you determine whether you are doing enough for your own personal development. And advancement. Do you feel comfortable? Or entitled? Or are you pushing yourself to become all that you can be?

Are you growing? Are you sure?

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Savasana

Are you integrating?

My first real experience with Yoga—beyond a few workout DVDs—was a Bikram hot yoga session with one of my CrossFit friends. At the end of class, I was dripping with sweat, exhausted, near-delirious from the heat. I practically welcomed death. We laid down on the mat for the final pose—Savasana—and all I could do was take shallow breaths until the instructor brought around cold towels to revive us.

I didn’t yet realize that Savasan was a pose. That it was supposed to be an active part of the practice. I experienced it as a time of recovery, yes. And blessed relief. And that’s it.

Now that my Yoga experience has evolved—and I’ve abandoned Bikram (it’s not for me)—I realize that Savasana is so much more. Yes it is rest. Rest with a purpose: Recovery. Integration. Focus. Intention. And transition to the next thing. 

Where else in our lives could we use a little bit more of that?

It turns out: everywhere.

When we learn something new, we actually don’t learn it—create memory storage and access pathways—until after the experience is over and we rest. 

We are most creative, making solid connections between the new information and old, after we rest. 

We derive meaning from our experience not while we are within it, but later, when we reflect upon it.

So much of what is important to us—learning, growth, meaningful interactions—don’t actually take place when they happen, but solidify during periods of repose. Reflection. And rest. In Savasana.

So ask yourself: are you integrating? Are you reflecting? Are you taking the time to make your experiences meaningful? Or are you rush-rush-rushing? Sacrificing yourself on the alter of Busy? Skipping sleep and relaxation? Carrying your emotional baggage from one encounter to the next? 

If you’re rushing—and I bet you’re rushing, because we all are rushing—what can you do about it?

If you know that you must make integration and rest a priority if you ever are going to reap its benefits, what are you going to do about it? If you understand the impact of worshiping Busy and wish instead for something else, what are you going to do about it? If you want to create memory, and ideas, and connections, and meaning, what are you going to do about it?

When I am working with coaching clients, we set an intention from the beginning that each session will last only 45 minutes. For their benefit and mine. So we both have time after to reflect and transition from our world to the next world. 

I know a Government official who starts meetings on the half-hour instead of the hour. It gives her time to prepare before and time after to jot notes, follow-up, and transition. Her schedule strategy is so rare that it also means she always has an extra half-hour of time in the conference room before the next meeting starts, reducing the pressure to rush through the end of the meeting and the discussion about next steps.

I have a coaching client who tries to never schedule more than two meetings back-to-back, so that she has a big chunk of time every few hours to reset, reflect, and reengage with the world on her terms. 

It can be as simple as that.

Even after 90 minutes of intense, burning-hot yoga, Savasana only lasts for about 10. It doesn’t take much. And that little bit goes a long way toward helping to achieve your goals: to create memory, and new ideas, and connections, and meaning.

Are you integrating? 

Try a little Savasana.

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References:

Why Savasana is the Hardest Yoga Pose by Karson McKinley

The Secret to Memory? A Good Night's Sleep by Susan Guides

Do What You Say You're Going To Do

That’s the key to integrity. To maintaining strong relationships. To building momentum. To achieving your dreams. Figure out what you want to do. Name it. Commit yourself to doing it. And it’s done.

Right?

Simple. Right?

If only it were that easy…

If we all could, always, do what we say we're going to do, we’d have perfect relationships, perfect health, amazing homes, and unimaginable wealth. Because we did them, the things we said we were going to do!

And yet…

Do what you say you’re going to do is often harder than we think it will be. For a host of reasons: unforeseen challenge, change of heart, new and better opportunity.

Even without an external obstacle or better option, sometimes it still is hard to do what we say we’re going to do, because of our nature. Because of how we respond to expectations—external and internal. Because of how and to whom we've declared the thing we’re going to do.

Gretchen Rubin wrote an incredible book about habit formation that I reference in my coaching work, often. Through her research, she has uncovered four tendencies associated with how we respond to expectations:

“Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expeditions.

Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it is justified.

Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations…

Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.” -Better Than Before, page 39

Depending on your tendency, the mere act of saying what you are going to do could support or even sabotage your ability to follow through—extreme rebels, I’m looking at you.

Let me be clear: Understanding your tendency does not give you carte blanche to become a flake. If you want to maintain your relationships and accomplish anything of note in this life, you are going to have to figure out how to follow through on your commitments.

And that’s where knowing your tendency and working with it can help.

Upholders are the lucky ones. If you say you are going to do something, either for others or for yourself, you are compelled to do it. We never have to worry that an Upholder will miss a deadline, change their plans, or otherwise leave us in a lurch. Upholders must take care, however, not to burn themselves out with overcommitment. And also must have empathy for the rest of us. Because we don’t all have it so easy…

Questioners will follow through once they have internalized the objective and believe that it is useful for them. Questioners must take the time to decide before making a commitment. Is this worth it? Hastily made agreements will be a struggle for Questioners to complete if they are not fully on board with the objective.

Obligers require external accountability for their commitments. They are much more likely to follow-though on an agreement made with someone else than on an agreement made with themselves. Obligers must be careful not to let other people’s agendas dictate their lives. And also must find a way to externalize their internal wants to be sure they have the motivation to achieve them.

Rebels struggle under the weight of both internal and external expectations. While that might seem like a recipe for flakiness or untrustworthiness, it doesn’t have to be! Rebels simply require space and time. They need the freedom to decide in the moment. They will do what they say they are going to do, if they say it right before they do it. Expecting a rebel to decide and commit any earlier than that could lead to disappointment.

That’s really the key to all of this. Expectation. 

How do we handle internal and external expectations for ourselves? And how do we impose our expectations onto others?

We all want to be in relationship with, to employ, and to be the kind of person who does what she says she is going to do. Understanding our tendencies can help us delay commitment or structure accountability so that we are working with our nature instead of against it.

And understanding each others’ tendencies can help us ease up on our expectations so that others have the freedom to do the same.

What do you think? What is your tendency? And how does understanding it help you do what you say you are going to do?

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References:

Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin

Career Ambition: Goofball

First, a true story:

Me: My blog is about Silliness this week and I don’t know what to write… 

Cory: I’m surprised…

Me: Why?

Cory: [matter of factly] Because you’re the silliest person I know.

Me: [laughing] What makes me so silly?

Cory: [dead serious] I don’t know. You’re a dang frickin’ goofball!

Guilty.

Silliness is a value at Tailored Output. Not because it jumped out during a values generation exercise. And not because it surfaced during a Coaching for Values session. Nope. Silliness is a value at Tailored Output because I catch myself frequently saying that sentence, as part warning part explanation. When I am skipping down the street after a happy hour with friends. When I am snatching coloring pages and crayons from the hostess stand on the way to dinner "meetings.” When I am looking for ways to liven up a workshop, to ensure the right atmosphere for creativity, to make the mood more jovial. 

A little bit of Silliness can go a long way.

There is something so pure about it, so Optimistic (another Tailored Output value). Humor can be dark or cutting and sarcastic. Fun can be competitive. Silliness requires unbridled enthusiasm. Uninhibited expression. Childlike curiosity. 

Silliness evokes the infectious giggle of a kindergartener plotting his first April Fool’s prank. Silliness takes the tether off thought. It opens up the mind to wild ideas. Bright possibility. 

Silliness role models are everywhere!

Couldn’t we all use more Silliness in our lives?

And that’s the point of declaring Silliness a value at Tailored Output. It’s an explanation. And a notice to all comers: Silliness is not only welcome here, it’s expected. Goofball is a valid career ambition.

Now, let me be clear: That does not mean we (you and me, friend) don’t explore the dark parts of our experience. That does not mean we don’t actively and forcefully push against what holds us back. That does not mean we don’t express our frustration, our anger, our rage even.

Because we do. Often.

And sometimes that hard work means we don’t have the capacity to be silly. Because the deep work we’re doing takes up too much of our emotional pie. We don’t reject that reality. Instead, we use it as information. If the situation is too much to be silly—is to heavy to be light-hearted—that is a blinding-bright signal that there is work to be done. To reshape our circumstances. To reframe our perspective. To build our capacity. To heal. To get back to the big, bright, open space where Silliness can play. Where Goofballs are welcome, again.

So ask yourself this: When was the last time you did something truly silly? What does that tell you? What do you want to do, next?

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Our Future's So Bright...

I’m an optimist. I have strong faith in the future. I think why not? much more often than I think we could never… And I’ve made a reputation for myself around that fact. I’ve told senior-ranking nay-sayers to get their negativity out of my meeting. I’ve threatened to kick people out of the brainstorm if they tell the group no too many times. I’m forward thinking, and forward leaning, and moving forward all at the same time.

That’s my definition of Optimism: Faith in myself and the future. Knowing there is a path forward, even when I can’t see it, yet.

Is the wine glass half-full or half-empty?

It’s a little more sophisticated than the glass half-full/half-empty theme. But the point is the same. Optimism is an attitude. It is a perspective. It is a mental model for how you interpret the facts.  

Pessimism is a perspective, too. And yet, somehow we’ve started to equate attitude with intelligence. We cast optimists as dim, and naive. Unrealistic. Uninformed. And we laud Pessimists as bright, knowledgable, experienced, and correct.

When did that happen?

When did we decide skepticism = intelligence? When did we decide our attitude about the information signals our understanding of the material? And why are we so negative all the time?

The overriding theme of human history is progress. The inspiring heroes we herald moved the ball forward in the face of incredible opposition. Accomplished things others never thought possible. Proved the nay-sayers wrong. 

And yet, so many of us would rather be the nay-sayer than the hero. Rather be the opposition than inspiration. 

That’s a problem. Not only for those of us still brave enough to share an idea, but for everyone.

We all want progress. We all want change. We all want things to improve in our lives, in our culture, in our world. And - at the very same time - with our words, with our attitude, with our nay-saying nature, we are making life harder for our rising heroes. We are squashing the efforts of those willing to try. We are pushing against the progress we say we want. 

We are our own opposition. 

And if we’re not careful, our attitude, our perspective, our pessimism will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

If that’s not a case for Optimism, I don’t know what is…

Yes, there are problems. Yes, there will be natural opposition to new ideas. Yes, it will be difficult. Optimism doesn’t take any of that away.

Optimism simply says: I see how hard it will be. And I believe there is a path forward, anyway. Let’s find it.

Call me naive. Call me deluded, even, if you want. That doesn’t bother me.

I’m an Optimist.

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Shared Purpose + Belonging = Community

Community is word that gets thrown around a lot. It can be used to describe a place or a group of people. For me, tho, community is a feeling. It is a value. And it is probably bigger than you’ve imagined it to be.

First, a definition:

Community - Connection to our work, our environment, and the people around us through a sense of belonging and a shared purpose.

Belonging and shared purposed. Those are the foundation for me. Those are the attributes that describe a community. That delineate one from another. That make it unique. And give it meaning.

When applied broadly you can divide the whole planet into two sets of communities. The first, locational: Our World. The shared experience of being on this Earth, in this Country, or in your Neighborhood. The second, relational: Your Tribe. The people that make your life worth living.

Within those groups, it is up to you to decide what it means to belong and what purpose you share.

At the base level, it’s easy, we all belong to the category of Earth simply because we are here. Because we were born. Belonging is easily defined. What, tho, is our shared purpose? If I’m answering: To care for and protect the Earth we’ve been given. To make sure those who come after us have more opportunity and longevity than those who came before.

At the country level, that’s also easy to define. We (in the US) have founding documents that tell us the shared purpose of our community: To promote the general welfare. Even at this still-foundational level, our membership rests on our work to promote wellness, welfare, and wellbeing. That’s a pretty high bar for our relationships to 300,000,000 strangers. And it colors our connection to everyone else, at every other level. Because our shared purpose only grows as we climb toward the top. 

So, what do you say?

How do you define belonging and shared purpose at the neighborhood level? For me, that is all about being willing to offer a hand. Supporting local businesses. Caring about local politics. Opening doors and smiling in the elevator. And keeping the music at a reasonable volume. 

What about for your colleagues and clients, and the truth-tellers that make up your Profession? How does someone meet you there? Become a part of that community? Are there professional standards? Educational requirements? Mandatory levels of hustle and heart? What purpose do you all share?

Take some time on this one. How do you work with your mentors and mentees? What makes someone a collaborator, a co-workers, and an ideal customer? These all make up the first level of Your Tribe. And your definitions of belonging and shared purpose, here, set the tone for the communities that reside higher still. 

Now think about your Support System. Who had the privilege of seeing you when you just started out? Who corrected your errors and forgave your mistakes? Who gave you critical feedback and heart-felt recommendations? How selective are you about who gets into this group? And how do you share in the purpose of propping each other up?

Finally, what does it mean to belong to your Core community? What is the shared purpose up at the tippy top? Who will have the privilege of sipping coffee with you on Saturday morning discussing your hopes and dreams? Who has a place of prominence when you whiteboard out your shared future? And how do you all contribute to fulfilling your purpose?

It’s a lot to think about. And probably too much for one day.

The critical key is that all of our communities rest on a single foundation. Every community is drawn from a single pool of places and populations. And community membership can change in an instant. People who once were only fellow-citizens or Earth’s inhabitants can—in a heartbeat—skyrocket to the top. And people who once were important and consistently present—through a move or a graduation or a falling-out—can trickle back down toward the bottom.

I try to keep that fact in mind when I am considering my own communities.

Maybe you are not my best friend, yet, but you could be. I’ll treat you with the respect that status deserves.

Maybe you are here, now, close, but you might not always be. I will love you with a force that recognizes our time together could be fleeting. I will listen with the intensity needed to learn everything I can from you, while I can.

I will fulfill my part of our purpose while it’s still shared. And I won’t take for granted this feeling of belonging. 

Because that’s what community means to me.

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Creativity Is In Everyone (Even You)

I started this research in 2013. 

I was determined to understand everything there is to know about creativity.  How to summon it. How to enhance it. How to protect it from the that-will-never-work crowd. I was determined to learn all about creativity so that I could be a useful and helpful support-system for my incredibly creative team. 

And I still am determined. Only now, I also am determined to understand creativity, for me (and for you, too).

When I started this research, I was convinced that creativity was something someone else had. I believed myself to be rigorous. And hard working. And unrelenting in my efforts to disprove hypotheses. A scientist. And technical. Passionate, for sure. A writer, but not an artist. Not creative. Not innovative. Not like them.

So I was doubly-dedicated to my research because I was hell-bent on staying out of their way. Of doing everything in my power to support their creativity so my lack-there-of didn’t delay their progress.

Then I came across Elizabeth Gilbert's new book, where she wrote that creativity can be grasped by anyone: 

"The essential ingredients for creativity remain exactly the same for everybody: Courage, enchantment, permission, persistence, trust - and those elements are universally accessible." - Big Magic

But as much as I trust her, and her experience, that didn’t feel true in my case. And that is the wonderful thing about research: It will disrupt your whole perspective if you let it…

I continued my work and I learned from Emily Best that problem-solving is a potent form of creativity. And she has a point. Developing solutions where none existed, that’s problem-solving. Developing is a synonym for creating. So if problem-solving is creativity and I’m a problem-solver, I guess that means I am creative, too?

I learned from Eric Ries that science is a fundamentally creative activity. And I’m a scientist! I know all about generating hypotheses and novel ways to test them. Hypotheses are just ideas. And novelty is uniqueness is creativity. 

"Is there a lot of coloring at your job, Aunt Julie?" my nephew asked as we scribbled together at the beach. This annual activity was as close to creativity as (I thought) I had been in a loooooong time. I thought...

I was wrong.

It will probably seem ridiculous (and I don’t even mind) but you have to understand how life-changing that realization was for me. I am a problem-solving scientist. I have a double whammy of creative energy coursing through me. And I had no idea.

I use the language of science, and program management, and business, and bureaucracy. I’m all about the rigorous methodologies, and agile, and use cases. Pilot projects and transitions and viability. I had immersed myself so heavily in the technical and sterile and regimented that I forgot about the spit-balling, the brain-storming, the running out to the edge-of-reality and pushing toward fast-failure. 

The language of our industry had covered up the spirt of our work. My work. My creativity. Even when the synonyms were all right there in front of me.

So now, I focus my attention and my research on how to summon and enhance our creativity. All of ours (that means yours, too). How to invite vulnerability and design brave spaces for collaboration. By selecting the right people. By keeping the attendance list diverse and just-big-enough. By ensuring we’ve built trust and community before we need it. 

I spend my days thinking about how to protect our new ideas while they are still misshapen and ugly (and especially how to protect yours). By respecting and then strictly limiting discussion about why it won’t work and giving space and light and air and energy to all the reasons why it would be incredible if it did. By sheltering the baby-ideas and ensuring that they are fully tested before they are cast by the wayside (even though most new ideas will ultimately be cast by the wayside).

I monitor the ebb and flow of excitement and motivation and boredom and overwhelm. I ease burdens where I must. Remove unnecessary decisions where I can. Provide structure and accountability. And play and laughter and fun. I take every opportunity to promote our physical, emotional, and mental health. Because they are so fundamental to our creativity.

And the research continues…

I am learning from Adam Grant how task-timing and distraction promote creative problem-solving. And I am learning from myself and from our community how to be even more open, bright, and free to think. So that we are at our best. To problem-solve. And experiment. To express the creative energy within all of us (yes, all of us, even you).

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References:

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries

Mastery by Robert Greene

Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World by Adam Grant

Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Huffington

What's the Rush?

I am not a patient person. 

I don’t naturally tend to go slow. I don’t smell roses - unless I schedule time to smell the roses. I have a hard time waiting. I hate to be late. Time is of the essence for me. Truly.

So when it comes to learning something new, or working toward the next big goal - like building this business - I often feel myself getting into a time-pressure panic. Have I done enough, yet? Am I progressing fast enough? Am I keeping pace with my peers? Have I checked enough things off my check-list, today? Especially! Especially when I’ve figured out where I want to be. When I’ve painted that postcard from the future… I’m like the Donkey in Shrek 2 (Are we there yet? Are we there yet?).

And just like in the movie I need to be reminded that we are going to a kingdom Far, Far Away.

Because that is the truth about Big Dreams. They live in a land Far, Far Away. 

 

Not because they are unachievable. Not because we don’t have the capacity. Not because we won’t ever get there. But because if they are truly big dreams - if they are the motivating, inspiring, Earth-shattering things that they are meant to be - then they require us to stretch and move and travel a long journey. Far, Far Away.

So why then - if I know all that - do I still find myself worried and wondering if I’m going fast enough? Do I still find myself longing for it to be easier? For it to go quickly? For achievement to come and find me here, and now, at my kitchen table?

I don’t know… 

What I do know is that I am not alone. (We are not alone).

Almost every question in the Entrepreneurship section of Quora is something along the lines of what is a business I can start today, with no money, and become instantly successful? We dream as little girls about being “discovered” in our local pizzeria (just me?). We scowl at magazine covers promoting the Thirty Most Successful People Under Thirty (still just me?).

We are swept up as a culture in the sense that time is short. That life is short. And if we are ever to achieve something wonderful, we must achieve it now! And if we haven’t done it by a certain age, we might as well give up… 

And yet…

No matter how strong that rushing tide tries to pull us out to sea, it isn’t actually how any of this works.

As cool as it seems to get “discovered” when we’re 11 years old, that isn’t really anybody’s Big Dream. Think about it. The dream is what comes after. The discovery is a stepping-stone along the way to mega-selling-movie-stardom and Oscar-fame. That’s a Big Dream. And that dream didn’t magically come true on Discovery-day.

And those Thirty Under Thirty? I read their bios (I always read their bios). Turns out: Making the cover of that magazine wasn’t even top 20 on their list of Big Dreams. Their prize, their major achievement, their Big Dream? It is still in a kingdom Far, Far Away.

Because that is the second truth about Big Dreams. They are always growing.

What you believe to be insurmountably-amazing when you are 12 (work on the Space Shuttle, in my case), you knock out of the park before you’re 25 (true story). And what gives you butterflies in your mid-20s, you somehow (I know how) nail by age 30.

And remembering that second truth helps me manage my emotions about the first one.

I have Big Dreams. And they live in a land Far, Far Away. And I know that I am going to get there. Because I always do. Every Big Dream I have ever dreamed, I have achieved - or changed into a better, Bigger Dream after experimentation and reflection. Every. Single. One.

Think back. 

What is one major achievement that gives you joy and pride? How long did it take you to reach it? From first conception to final execution and celebration.

Years, right?! Years. Years! 

Why should this bigger, better, more-complex, more-Earth-shattering dream be any different? Seriously, why? If there is a reason, I’m listening. Because everything I have learned - from research and experience and conversations with our badass community - tells me Big Dreams take time (and hard work, and planning, and support systems, and growth, and…) to achieve. 

So, this is your (and my) new mantra when we get impatient and hurried and panicked that we’re not moving fast enough: Seriously, what’s the rush?

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References:

Mastery by Robert Greene

Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath

Did You Learn Your Lesson?

Growth comes from pushing boundaries. From operating at our edges. From internalizing the lessons from our triumphs and our mistakes. From using that information to change our behavior and our perspectives and our thinking. But how do you know that you’ve internalized the right things? 

How do you know that you’ve learned your lesson? 

How do you know you have not just identified one possible lesson? Or a convenient narrative? Or the easiest person to blame? How do you know that when you conduct your post-mortem and identify next steps, that you will move forward in the right direction?

Simple: Test it. Test your lesson.

It’s simple. But not easy. And honestly, we shouldn’t expect it to be. Learning takes work. Opportunities to learn come to us when we are least emotionally-ready to accept them. That’s why we must prepare to learn (from failure). And the lessons that we must learn often are not the easiest stories to pull out of our experience. 

They often are not the convenient little ditties our minds make up for us when things go wrong (or right!). 

They often aren’t comforting. Or even complete when we perform our post-failure (or post-success!) analysis. 

So, before we internalize a new truth about our experience, we must validate that it actually is the truth. Before we can learn our lesson, we must make sure it is our lesson to learn.

By testing it.

By showing a willingness to fail even here - even in our ability to identify the root cause of our experience. By taking a beat before committing a thought to memory or encoding an idea on our hearts. By considering the “lesson” we’ve identified as merely a first draft. A hypothesis. By designing an experiment. And then validating (or invalidating) its worthiness. And by continuing the process until we’ve identified our actual lesson. 

An example:

Cory is learning about options trading. He is teaching himself with the help of Tasty Trade to make money through investments, actively. And his process consists of reading, watching videos, following Tasty Trade trades, and experimenting with trading, himself. 

At the end of every week, Cory does a self-assessment. He looks back at what worked and what didn’t. It’s pretty easy to tell whether a trade made money, so the strategies that work self-identify. When it comes to the strategies that lost money, it takes a little more digging. He knows what didn’t work. But not immediately what would have worked. After some more research he decides what he should have done differently. And he writes it down. 

But that is not where the story ends.

The next week, when the Market opens, he’s ready. He has a new strategy to test, based on his lessons from the previous weeks. He continues with the types of trades that worked, to be sure he understands how they actually work. And he tests out new trades to see if he understands his lesson. To see if he learned what he was meant to learn from his experience the previous week. If the new strategies also fail, then he knows he still has some learning to do. 

If they succeed, we celebrate.

The lesson, any lesson, doesn’t actually become useful until you apply it, in the right context. It’s not helpful to remember the new shortcut you found for your commute to work while you’re out for a jog. It is helpful to remember it when you are sitting in traffic, late to a meeting, about to pass by the turn onto that route. So eventually you will come around to testing your lesson - you just might not be happy with the result.

The trick is to test your “lesson” hypothesis and make sure that it was the right thing to learn before you need to apply it. The trick is to run that route on a traffic-y day when you aren't already late to see if that first time was a fluke. 

More examples:

When you have a particularly poor meeting with a new colleague, you can “learn” that he’s an asshole. Or you can test that hypothesis and potentially find out that he was having an incredibly bad day. 

When you pour your soul into a project and it still doesn’t meet your customer’s expectations, you can “learn” that you need to make a costly reinvestment to fix what was missing (and still maybe miss the mark). Or you can develop a way to test your hypothesis and ensure that you move forward in a direction that will meet their needs.

When was the last time you failed (or succeeded!)? What was the lesson you took away from that experience? What have you internalized about that event? Did you test it? If not, there’s still time! 

It’s never too late to be sure you’ve learned your lesson.

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Resources:

The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries

Mastery by Robert Greene

Rework by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Have you ever been in the zone? Have you ever been so in to a task (sport, project, conversation) that you lost track of time and space? Have you ever been amazed by what you accomplished in an intense but short burst? Have you ever slipped into a stream of super-capability, super-productivity, or super-creativity?

If you answered, yes, my friend, you were in Flow.

You were in a peak state of consciousness, where we feel our best and perform our best. Flow.

How did you feel afterward - besides surprised - when you realized what had happened? Exhilarated! Euphoric! Impressed! (In my case). That feeling alone is worth the effort to figure out how to get more Flow. Not to mention the measurable productivity boost we experience. The deeper connection to our environment. The creativity we express.

So, how do we get more of all of that?! Let’s figure it out…

Describe your situation. Describe the environment, the people, the time of day, the level of challenge. Describe everything that was going on when you got into your Flow.

Let me guess:

You were focused. There were few distractions or interruptions. You knew exactly what you were supposed to do at that moment. There was no question about the task at hand. You were taking in new information and could clearly tell what was working and not working - in real time. You were challenged. But not too challenged. You had to stretch to succeed but you were certain that you had what it takes within you. And the outcome meant something to you. It was important that you get this thing right.

Did I get close?

Decades of scientific and social research indicate that those are the characteristics that contribute to Flow. And they are just a hand-full of the documented Flow triggers. The environmental, psychological, social, and creative situations that help to trigger a Flow state and contribute to ultimate performance.

What does that mean?

It means that Flow doesn’t have to be a random occurrence. It doesn’t have to be a pleasant surprise. You can invite Flow. You can shape your environment and interactions to make Flow more likely. You can build capacity and instill habits that will produce a measurable improvement in your performance. AND lead to euphoric! impressed! feelings of accomplishment when the tasks are done.

Who doesn’t want that?!

So take a look at your to-do list, your environment, and your relationships. What needs to get done? Why is it important? And what can you do to shape your (physical, mental, emotional, social) space to support you while you work to accomplish it?

What can you do to invite more Flow? 

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References:

Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth, and Impact the World by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler

Increasing the "Meaning Quotient" of Work in McKinsey Quarterly by Susie Cranston and Scott Keller

The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance by Steven Kotler

Who You (Believe You) Are Dictates What You Do

I’m a scientist.

And a feminist.

I’m a coach.

And a writer.

I’m Paleo.

And I work out.

I also am an infinite list of other things. I am full of complexities and contradictions. 

Still, I rely on this shorthand to describe myself. I use it to set an expectation. To convey a framework for understanding my behavior and my intentions. I take advantage of the fact that you already know people like us do things like this. 

We all do it to some degree. We encapsulate our identity. We believe ourselves to be part of a certain group (or groups), because our behaviors or values align with the group members. And we use those titles to give meaning to how we act. 

It works the other way, too.

When we believe ourselves to be part of a group—when we take on an identity—our behavior more-easily shifts to align with the group’s behavior. Astonishingly easily. So easily that we accuse people of drinking the kool-aid when they jump in to a new thing. Because such rapid and significant change can seemingly only be explained by a cult-like peer pressure intense enough to overcome our will.

In reality, it is our new identity that shapes our will.

It is our belief that people like us do things like this that shapes our behavior.

This fact of human nature can both catalyze our success or contribute to our downfall. 

First, the bad news.

The more we are exposed to something, the more we accept it and start to like it, even if it is bad for us. This is why when people start dating their eating habits converge. Or when your best friends can’t stop talking about Arrested Development, you set yourself up for a weekend binge before heading out of town with them (true story). Because you want to be in on the joke. And besides, people like us do things like this. 

So we have to be careful!

If we identify with a group only partially—because the CrossFit gym is close to the house, the workouts are incredible, and the people are nice—we might also find ourselves spending a Summer weekend indoors watching strangers exercise on TV. Even though we are bored by televised sports (another true story). Because our identity shapes our behavior, and people like us to things like this.

And it doesn’t even have to be a group identity. Actually, it can be more powerful when it is internal, because you don’t have the inherent contradictions of the people around you to help snap you out of it (wait?! that CrossFitter smokes? Maybe there are some behaviors associated with this identity that I don’t have to do…). 

The more we repeat something to ourselves, the more we start to believe it. It is the same exposure effect, only on the inside. For example, how many people do you know who aren’t a math person? There aren’t really any clubs for that. And yet, how powerful is that internal identity in shaping their choices? In creating stress in their lives when they encounter the math world? 

Now, the good news.

We can harness the power of our identity to shape our behavior. We can use our belief about who we are to catalyze the changes that we want to make in our lives. We can hack our motivation by editing our list of I’m a… statements. 

Let’s be clear. It can’t be fake. It won’t work just by repeating the new phrase in the mirror every morning (although that does help!). It takes a shift in perspective. A new way of looking at things. The lightbulb came on for me and my efforts to promote my health and wellbeing when I realized that I am a professional athlete. You are too! And when I understood that leaders go first. I’m a leader. That means I also must go first! 

Associating with those identities made it crystal clear what I needed to do. 

How about you? What changes do you want to make in your life? Is there part of your identity holding you back? Is there a group or type—an identity—that promotes the behavior you seek for yourself? Can you find a way that you already exhibit some of the behaviors of that group? Or a way that you already identify with the values of that group? A way that you might already be a member (but you just don’t know it, yet)?

If you create a new identity, the desired behavior change will come more easily.

Having trouble? Don’t worry. This can be deep and sticky work. Give me a call. I’d be happy to help.

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References:

Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quite Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin

"People Like Us Do Things Like This," on Seth's Blog by Seth Godin.

Rework by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath